Thursday, May 10, 2012

My husband is my hero

That might sound a little silly to you, or perhaps like I'm being overly dramatic. But, if you had been in our house over the last nine months while I was pregnant with Cade, you'd probably wonder why Curtis hadn't just up and left to get away from my insanity.

Then, a week before my due date, we conclude that Cade was indeed breech. He had, in fact, never been head down for the duration of my pregnancy. So, of course the option of a C-Section comes up and I start to panic, and act even more horrendous to Curtis. I will write a whole other post about that and the birth experience later. This is about my husband. He deserves more than a blog post of praise for all he's done and does for us every day. He has started his own business, provided for our family, played with our son, helped cook dinner, not complained when things weren't done or he couldn't find any clean underwear because everything was still sitting in the dryer. He was a one man show with the business this last year, handling marketing, sales calls, appointments, physically DOING the work, making bank deposits AND dealing with the drama queen he's married to. Let's just say, I may have gotten compliments on how "glowing" I was during this pregnancy, but I did not wear the hormone changes well. Again, I am surprised Curtis didn't leave the country and change his name to escape my aggressive rage. (I have a theory about being pregnant with a boy and perhaps the amount of testosterone in a woman's body being higher because of it.)

We can joke (a little) now about how he totally freaked out when Gage was born. That's a story I will leave up to him to share - but he's admitted that he didn't react well to the whole birth experience, being in the hospital, etc. etc. This time, he was absolutely wonderful. He got a tiny bit of cabin fever, but was able to run a few errands (like running home to walk the dogs and bring me Starbucks BOTH mornings after Cade was born) to get out and breathe. He took care of putting baby gifts in the car and taking them home and cleaning out the car completely before we left the hospital. He ate every meal with me, and brought me Gatorade and juice and dropped off AND picked up my prescriptions for pain medication. Which, yes, I have needed because the effects of nursing are similar to mild contractions this time around. The nurse mentioned that the cramping gets worse with each subsequent pregnancy. That ensures this is our last baby!

When we came home, our fridge/freezer had done that thing where its all frozen over and cant keep anything cold - so we lost A LOT of food, and Curtis had to defrost it over night. He scraped and used a blow dryer to get the ice out. Went and bought ice and borrowed an extra cooler from the neighbor to save what we could and make sure we had a gallon of milk for Gage to have his milk. He brought home lunch on Monday since mostly everything was in the trash and I wasn't exactly up for cooking. He cooked dinner on the grill that night and last night too!

He has always been pretty "go with the flow" and this time around, he was wholly supportive and stayed by my side the entire weekend. I struggled with depression after Gage was born. I was hurt that Curtis wasn't as supportive by staying at the hospital, although we both know in retrospect that he was just as freaked out as anyone could be. He panicked. That's ok. We've moved on. He more than made up for it with this labor and delivery. I am successfully nursing Cade (something I will write ANOTHER post about). I have all the support and love of my husband for that as well. But, I feel like we're on the right foot this time around. He made the biggest difference in that I think. I told my best friend that I felt more like I am in an "afterglow" than the darkness I felt with Gage. I've only cried twice - once when this guy took my parking spot at Walmart, and once when I felt like Curtis misunderstood what I said. Both a little silly, but I know I had cried a lot more with Gage by this point. I truly put a lot of weight on Curtis's actions this time - he's the biggest reason I don't want to drive my car off a bridge this time around.

I know I am pretty open about how I feel most of the time, but it's been a REALLY long time since I have been encouraging to my husband. I haven't made the time to appreciate him. Let alone TELL him I appreciate him. I've mostly bashed him verbally - to his face, mind you. I don't talk bad about my husband much to other people. I save that for him personally. I know - awful!!!!!!

I could go on, and I know that I've left things out, but this has taken me 4 days to write between feedings and naps. I think I've made my point. I certainly hope Curtis knows how much he means to me, and I want everyone else to know how blessed I am. Feel free to remind me of that when I complain later about having two boys who fart in my bed every morning after they wake up.