I missed some of the Grammy's. But, what I did NOT miss was Adele winning awards for Song of The Year, Artist of The Year and finally Album of The Year. Like, WHOA. Those are some big honors. She is very talented; and super cool, from what I have seen and heard about her. As she excitedly spoke her thank yous, she said something that really caught my attention. Here it follows in quotes:
"As you can see it took an army to make me strong and willing again enough to do it. But thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Five years ago, when I was last here, I also was pregnant, and I didn’t know. And I was awarded that shortly after — I found out shortly after, which was the biggest blessing of my life. And in my pregnancy and through becoming a mother I lost a lot of myself. And I’ve struggled, and I still do struggle being a mom. It’s really hard. But tonight winning this kind of feels full-circle, and like a bit of me has come back to myself."
Adele, Grammy award winning artist & extremely talented singer, said how hard it was to get back out there and make music again. Because she lost herself in motherhood. But, you and I can easily see how her purpose is to make music and how her talent would seem to be wasted, for lack of a better term. And, we can agree how CRAZY it would have been for her to not get back out there and make more beautiful music, right?
I know it's easy to lose yourself in the role of being a mom. You had things you did before the baby came along. And some of those things aren't even a blip on our radar after the baby arrives and motherhood hits us full force. I took time off from fitness stuff when I got married and then we got pregnant right away, so it ended up being a 5 year gap before I was ready to get back into the gym and take on clients and teach and do MY thing. I worked outside the home a bit during those 5 years, and I HATED office jobs. I am not a 8-5, sit at a desk kind of gal. I thrive in the less structured world of fitness, and I have a LOT of crazy to burn off while teaching multiple classes a week.
Some women have full careers inside an office. I am NOT knocking them. They are actually who I am talking about. You went to college, you made a career path choice, and sometimes becoming mom means staying at home with your kids. Sometimes it means giving up that corner office or that promotion. Sometimes it means working and being mommy full time.
Putting on your mom hat makes it hard to wear your "Jodie" hat. (And, I assume you get that your hat would have your own name on it!) I liked to paint and play the bass guitar, once upon a time. And, no, not at the same time, in case you snarkily wondered. We sold that guitar in a garage sale when I was pregnant with Cade and I regret it. I would love to learn to play acoustic guitar now. And, I may very well do that eventually.
It's important to take a step back and remember that you are someone's mom, yes, but you are also an individual with talents and a purpose. For now, that purpose may be to raise wonderful human beings (preferably ones that groom themselves well and listen to music WITH headphones when they're in public). Your purpose can evolve as time passes. You may find yourself returning to the studio and recording the album of the year again.
Your family needs you. They need you to take care of yourself. Do things that bring you joy. Make time for you. A mommy friend of mine told me this:
"About a year after I had the baby and I was on the right medications, the fog lifted. And I remember thinking 'it's okay to take care of myself'. Taking care of myself mentally and physically makes me a better mom. I think it was on a birthday weekend, just my husband and I, when he looked at me and said 'I miss this'. That's when I knew deep down I had to make the time for us and me."
So, you may lose yourself in motherhood. That's OK. You will find yourself again. You may come out a bit different. Hey, my body changed with two pregnancies, and I bet yours did too. You may find your priorities have changed a little. You may find that you have MORE compassion, less judgement and more love. But, overall, redefine what motherhood means and make it your own. Stay home with your babies. Work a full time job outside the home. Work from home and take your kids to the daycare anyway. Start your own business and be your own boss. Make motherhood work for you. And, remember, you're "Mom" but you're also a totally kick butt woman who can do just about anything she wants in addition to being someone's mom.