Monday, February 18, 2013

90 Day Update

I looked at saw that it was the beginning of November since my last blog post.  I know that my need to write is usually tied up in how I am feeling. Overwhelmed. I wrote a LOT after Gage was born, because as I openly discussed, I was dealing with some post partum depression.

Now, this is not my "Cry for Help" post. I just realize that I am kind of OVER the baby phase we have lived in the last three years. Like, I LOVE having my boys, and I know I should bite my tongue before complaining about how much they require because there are so many women who never get to experience this, but as Gage gets older, I am appreciating that he can put his own shoes on and typically can tell me what he wants/needs. Oh, and understands when mommy needs a "time out" for herself.

Cade is screeching and getting into everything and it's exhausting trying to corral him. He babbles words now and then, but he prefers to use squawking as a means to communicate. As we draw VERY close to his first birthday - just a little more than 2 months way - I feel like doing a dance. I am still TWO YEARS away from being 30 and am DONE with the baby phase. I still have a lot of time left to be with my husband and watch my kids grow up into people and just enjoy life after surviving the world of babies.

I suggested some form of permanent baby prevention to Curtis. Let's just say I am no longer allowed to use the word "vasectomy" in our home. He responds to this suggestion as if I kicked him directly in his aforementioned area. So I am all, fine tie up my tubes and let's move on. But he's even against that! Like "What Dr will do that to a 28 yr old? You shouldn't make that decision until you're like 35." Let's pretend there are not some deep seated chauvinistic tones to that comment and get to the real point here: Curtis is still flirting with the idea of having another baby sometimes. At this point, I will be ready to go all Sister Wives and find another mommy to have that baby. I know I am putting myself out there for a lot of ridicule if I end up pregnant again, but I think the Lord knows my heart and knows that I am not mentally capable of handling another child. I will be checking myself in to somewhere with padded rooms and those nice jackets that tie in the back.

Anyway, I am starting to understand why so many moms go back to school. Once your kids are of a certain age, you kind of need SOMETHING to do after the first three weeks of "Me Time". Like, when they need you so little in comparison to the baby stage, you sort of need to re-purpose your life if you weren't doing something along with raisin' them babies. 

My pre-children love was Group Exercise. Which is ironic considering I am completely OUT of shape even though I am approximately 5-10 lbs more than I was prior to kids. I am just ready to get a little more purpose now that Cade is almost a year old and Gage is a mere two years away from starting Kindergarten (cue my anxiety attack here). I am mentally prepping for getting back in shape and teaching hopefully by summer. Who knows. But, at least I have my wheels turning.

The boys are absolutely precious (usually) and I am crazy about my husband (most of the time). Now, on to find something for Me.