Thursday, July 26, 2012

The 4th Trimester

I have been uncharacteristically silent the past couple of months. I know, I was all "dear Gage" every month when he was born. I did that for my sanity. I have enjoyed Cade's first weeks so much more than I did with Gage. And, that's what I will tell them when Cade is all "why didn't you write me a letter those first months?" - I will say "After I had your brother I was totally depressed and confused about my new role as mommy. With you, it just happened to be wonderful."

Here's why: Baby #2 means you've already survived raising the first one for at least a few months. This isn't my first rodeo. I knew what to expect - the horrible no sleeping, crying, fussing, trying to figure out what baby wants. Baby #1 is always an experiment. I get now why people have 4 kids. You get better at it and feel like an awesome parent each time you figure new things out as you add the kids.

Personally, I think having a summer baby is a lot easier on the depression factor. You can get out with your newborn when its warm outside. Gage was born during a cold winter with a LOT of snow and ice. Also, breastfeeding is a lot easier on the sleep factor. Cade cries, I whip out the boobie and hook him up to it. It requires very little effort. And, please be jealous when I say that I have not had to get out of bed ONCE in the middle of the night the last three months. Since we aren't judging each other on our parenting choices, you don't have to be mad. We co-sleep. We breast feed. I wear Cade around like a kangaroo mommy in his Moby wrap. I am a bit more of a hippie mama with this one. I even debated cloth diapers this time around.

I have just had a much more positive experience with Cade's first few months. If I had written letters they would have looked something like this:

Dear Cade - One Week (May 11th)
You're just one week old now. It's Mothers Day weekend and your daddy's 36th birthday. We had SO much help this week from my wonderful friends who cleaned, brought us food, brought gifts for you and your brother. This helped set the pace for the next few weeks. Your daddy hasn't had much chance to hold you since you've been on my boob most of the day. But, you are doing great and I am getting to shower every day, so I will chalk that up as a victory. Ow, breastfeeding hurts a little more than I'd like, but we are going to make it!
Love, Mommy

Dear Cade - One Month (June 4)
Well, I have come close to deciding that I won't be returning to my job. Two kids in daycare is a lot of money and Frisco is a long drive from home. I am delighted to be at home with you, but Gage is getting a little Cabin Fever. We have gone out a few places here and there and I think it's been a lot easier than I expected. Something about not having to carry bottles and formula is very liberating. We nursed in public for the first time. At the McDonald's inside of Walmart. The epitome of not fancy. So, I didn't feel one bit awkward. You don't want anyone except for me, and you're totally offending everyone by being so prejudice. You like daddy only when he doesn't have a shirt on and you can get skin to skin contact. He's a very warm daddy, so you guys bond a little bit like that. We also attended Wes & Stephanie's wedding and you did AWESOME! You ate during the ceremony and then slept in the sling the whole evening. Everyone commented on how good of a baby you were being. I was so proud of you. I can already tell you're going to be easier on me than your brother. I love you so much. You've managed to make my heart grow even more with your life. Being mommy to two boys is such a blessing.
Love, Mommy

Dear Cade - Two Months (July 4)
We have made it two full months of breastfeeding!!! I only made it about 6 weeks with your brother, so I am VERY proud of this accomplishment. Every day from here is a victory. We went to Grandpa Gary's this weekend to hang out for the holiday and they agreed you're getting big and you're adorable. We have also been going to play with Gus & Emmerson for a couple of weeks, and you seem to enjoy their attention as much as they like playing with you. When you're awake and not eating, of course. Which is not often. You seem to have hit a nursing cluster feeding stage and OW it hurts a little bit again. I took you up to my old job and they all said you were precious and totally understood why I wouldn't be returning to work there. You're starting to be awake more and have cute smiles and the TALKING just kills me. You're so chatty. I don't remember Gage being this talkative. I love it. You like playing and kicking on the playmat and the bath tub is a lot of fun. I'm so glad you like the water. It's been so much more of a breeze with you. Thank you for being such a sweet, easy baby. Even though you're not totally in love with your dad yet, I know you'll come around once you realize that even though he doesn't have boobies, he is pretty awesome. You're an absolute JOY to have, sweet baby. I will try and do a little better at the letters from here on out.
Love, Mommy

So, that's everything in a nutshell. We made it this far!!!


  1. Even though mine were 9 dang years apart in age, I found Peyton to be easier and more mellow. I just knew I had forgotten how to raise a newborn, but it all came rushing back--minus the stress and depression too.

    If God had ordained us to have our girls much closer together in age, I SO would have done it your way. Something about mommying two little ones has always appealed to me. Sigh.

    I'm glad you guys are doing well. Cade is just precious and I can't wait to read all about him as he grows too.

  2. Congrats on the breastfeeding! Way to go!