Tuesday, May 17, 2011

It's All Cyclical

Last year around this time I was going back to work. I went to work one day, and decided I couldn't leave my precious 5 month old baby.You can read about it here.
It's not lost on me that even though that last post was on a Monday, that the DATE IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS TODAY'S DATE. Cue The Twilight Zone theme song.

This time around, we've launched out on our own with our Garage Door Repair Business and Curtis is working for only himself. We've been making a lot of advancements growing our business, but it's still a little stressful. And, it would be nice if we had some more capital to help get things going strong. Also, I would love to have reasonably priced health insurance for all of us instead of just Gage. Thank the Lord we've all been well.

So, I decided to start looking for a job and posted my updated resume online. Basically, I'm thinking about going back to work, again. This time, however, I am not going to chicken out and quit after one day. I was suppose to have an interview for a job that's doing EXACTLY what I did before I had Gage and started being a stay at home mommy. But, in one day's time, the girl who was leaving decided to stay and therefore they no longer needed a replacement.

So, I spent our last MOPS meeting in tears thinking it was my last MOPS meeting ever, and I could've been not so stressed out. Because, yes, I am still looking for a job, but it's not like it's starting Monday.

I will definitely miss my big boy. But, he's a lot bigger now. He will be staying with Brittany (and Hannah & Noah) to play while we work - and I couldn't be happier with that option. She takes the kids places, and has more motherhood experience than I do. So, it's pretty ideal. And Gage LOVES them.

But, business has picked up a little (as in people are calling because there for about a week we didn't get any calls and I wondered if my phone was broken. It was like being in high school and waiting for that boy to call. Yes, I did a little bit of that. I mostly had a serious boyfriend after the age of 15 so I wasn't heartsick sitting by the phone a whole lot) and I feel a smidgen better. I know it's about trusting God, and battling Satan's attacks, but that doesn't make it all that simple to handle each and every day.

I certainly have thought and even said to Curtis "I am at the edge of what I can handle right now." Of course, God won't bring us to something that He won't go through with us. Knowing the outcome sure would make things more manageable. I have a frustratingly good memory and I have that constant voice in my head that quotes Scripture in the middle of my fears and doubts. I have a verse or bible based song lyric for just about anything one might struggle with in life. And it's on a record that plays the appropriate phrase at the most opportune time. Perhaps that's what we call the Holy Spirit at work.

So, it's mid-May and I'm thinking about working. And, I would love a part time job. Of course, a full time job with benefits would be acceptable. However, I am simply unclear as to what God's plan is in all of this. All I know is God is God and I am NOT.

I have little to no insight as to what I should be doing. All I know is that I am going to TRY and find a job and the Lord knows if I get an offer that I will take it. So, I am trusting Him to not let anyone offer me a job if that's not what I am suppose to do. And praying for wisdom and inspiration for growing our business and getting customers. And, praying for peace.

Just do me a favor. If you live in the metroplex and you have a garage door or opener related issue...CALL ME!!!!!!! 214-228-1316

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