Monday, May 17, 2010
First Day Back as a Working Girl
First of all, yes, I know that sounds like I am working on a street corner. Second of all, if I was boring, even LESS than the 3 people who read this would take the time to read it.
I am sitting here, anxiously waiting for Miranda to bring Gage to me. She offered to bring him home from her house, since I worked AN HOUR AND A HALF after I planned.
Thank the Lord Gage was with her, instead of some uncaring, unfeeling daycare who would charge me for picking him up past the scheduled time. Curtis was busy getting his truck to Greenville to have the transmission replaced. Yes, the transmission. Let me remind you, he had the rear end axle replaced last month. Well, the end of March.
(fast forward 3 hours later)
My mom just called to see how my first day at work went. My response: "Let me preface this conversation by saying that I've already had two glasses of wine." She said "That bad, huh?"
(and I am working on my first Corona now that Gage is asleep)
Hell yes, it was not great. I got up at 6am, Gage slept til 7am. So, I had time to get ready and all that. Then I put him in his Exersaucer with cartoons on Nick Jr. for 30 minutes until he was ready for a bottle, and we left at 7:45 to head to Miranda's to drop off my precious baby. I love that she is watching him. I don't love that it takes me an hour to get him to Miranda's and then to work.
Today, I get to work on time. I know that I am going to ride with one of the drivers today so that I can get a feel for what they really need to know when I take a call from a customer. It wasn't bad, riding with Driver. He was my dad's age, a Christian. Very helpful with teaching me. I learned the Nextel, and I even picked up and delivered some packages. So, I was a true life Courier today. I remember around 1:50, when we had just dropped a package in Grand Prairie, that my work day wouldn't end at 2pm today. And, by 2:15 I want to cry because it's not going how I expected, and I miss Gage like crazy.
I get off work at 3:30pm, see Gage around 4:30pm, and then immediately go to get Curtis's birthday cake (a few days late b/c it requires some handiwork). We fight traffic from Addison to Plano while Gage complains from his car seat. And, then we get home, get a bottle, and head back out to Walmart to get diapers and formula.
(Two Days Later...)
The wine slowed me down too much to finish writing Monday night, and then Tuesday evening our internet was being crazy. So, I am FINALLY BLOGGING about it.
Well, it's 9:20 in the morning on Wednesday, and I am NOT at work. Monday evening, I was doing a lot of wine induced thinking, and I decided that the sacrifice of not seeing Gage all day, even though it's a part time job was too much. An hour in the car each day with him is wasted. He LOVES his aunt Miranda. That boy is such a traitor. :) He was completely happy with being with her, and I loved that he was with someone that I love too. I can't explain the feeling of knowing you left your child with someone who will take better care of him than you do. I always feel that way when we drop him off with family members. But, I missed that baby.
Work went like this: I get there, they give me a uniform polo shirt to wear while I ride along with Driver. He has an old white van - it helps him make better money because he can carry heavier, bigger cargo. We go to Addison, Dallas, Arlington, Grand Prairie, and then he drops me off at the office on his way to McKinney. That job sucks!
Now, I am suppose to be learning this stuff so I can work in the office. But, I can't get past the lack of communication about how long my day might be that first day, and the fact that I miss Gage like CRAZY!!! So, I decide after one day, that I can't and won't do this.
I thought I needed a break from the baby, but it made me realize that I don't. Not like that. Miranda is going to watch him now and then to give me a break. Just like any awesome sister in law would do - (my other local sister in law takes her turns happily!) and I am blessed. If I had gone back to work around the 3 month mark, when I was so emotionally drained and starting to feel resentful about being home, then I bet I would never have known what it's like to miss Gage like I did. And, his adorable giggles and squeals of delight would have gone mostly unseen by me. I would have unknowingly robbed myself of what I have discovered to be one of the biggest blessings in life. Now, if you're not able to stay home with your babies, I am not saying you're a bad mother. I realize each day how truly blessed I am to be at home.
I also have to share this story. Yesterday, I took Gage to Miranda's house while we steam cleaned our carpets. He's been all over the place lately, and we want to make sure when rolls off the play mat and he puts his face on the carpet, it's as clean as it can be. Well, when I went to pick him up, there was a rogue chicken running around in their front yard (they don't live in the city limits). Her daughter threw out some corn chips and it came over. I crouched down with Gage so he could watch the chicken, and after a couple of minutes, I started making chicken sounds in his ear. He LAUGHED HYSTERICALLY. The hardest I have ever seen or heard. I called Curtis so he could hear over the phone. I love that kid.
Working for just one day made me appreciate what I have. And, I am secretly glad I christened the ladies room before I left for the day. (sorry to those of you who like to pretend not everyone poops!)