Monday, January 30, 2017

A Trip Down Memory Lane

I turned 32 last month and I woke up that Saturday morning wishing deeply to have this calm, collected peace. (pipe dreams, right?) I also wished that I would finally commit to writing every day because I want to improve my skills. And, that takes practice. Even with writing. So, that means you get to read the terrible blog posts that will be the gateway to my national best seller. You're welcome.
So, some of these posts might be rambling, but I am working on writing a LOT this year. Buckle up.

I am sitting here doing computer work at my desk because my laptop battery won't keep a charge and must stay plugged in to work. It's essentially a desktop PC now. Yes, I could order a battery from Amazon, but I would rather whine about it and do nothing instead. Also, I would rather spend that $35 on coffee and leggings.

Anyway, I pulled a VERY old journal (that's grown up talk for my diary, y'all) from my desk that is literally from my first week of marriage. Cue the awkward. The main thing I read aside from all the gross, I-am-SOOOOOO-happy-blah-blah-blah-cuteness is the feeling of disappointment I expressed as well. No, it was not disappointment in my sex life. I had been dreaming of my fairy tale for 23 years, and when it came true, reality set in. You're like Cinderella AFTER midnight. Your fairy tale day ends and life is back to normal and all of a sudden you have a new title and a new set of real expectations from another person. I cried a lot the first year of marriage. Not because Curtis was a terrible husband, but because life was different and I was adjusting.

The build up of a very special day is a large part of the excitement. Now, we had a small wedding and invited family only. There were a whole lot of factors in that decision and I promise I will post about that in another full post. So, it was not months of planning and anticipation. But, like I said, YEARS of dreaming about marrying my prince charming. Oh, and adorable newlyweds: your prince or princess will definitely have their ogre moments. So, practice grace and maybe learn how to make their favorite cocktail or dessert. Sugar and alcohol can smooth out some rough edges on a bad day. Grace helps a whole lot too!

So, what's this post really about? I got married, it was great, It was also sad and weird and everyone now knows you've had sex, even if you did not wait until marriage anyway. So weird. But, the memory lane trips are good reminders of how much we loved each other then, and how much our love has grown and matured since. My 24 year old love for my husband is vastly different than my 32 year old love for him. We have conquered the world in the past 8 years. Life has beaten us up and given us trouble and God has given us love and grace to cover the multitude of sins against each other and two beautiful, healthy (slightly smelly) boys and a business that pays the bills and allows us freedom to spend a lot of time as a family.

We bring a lot of hurts and baggage and weird habits into a marriage. And sometimes it meshes well and sometimes it doesn't at first. But, we can remind ourselves of the things we love about our spouse and be SO THANKFUL WE ARE NOT 24 YEARS OLD ANYMORE. 

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