Wednesday, September 7, 2011

How We Celebrated the Drought

I cannot, of course, lead with something incredibly obvious in my title. If you're reading this, then you most likely saw my link on Facebook and followed it here to read all the gory details. Ok, not gory exactly.

Anyway, here's how Baby #2 came to be (this is not your biology lesson of the day).

We've had the baby fever for a while now. I blame it on Gage getting big and on all my pregnant friends announcing their babies on the way. Curtis has always wanted to have the babies close together so they can have a friend at school. I also wanted to be done with having babies by 30 so I can get back into teaching classes at the gym permanently. With no breaks after having kids and then having to get back into shape AGAIN. I'll just stay squishy til I'm done pushing out kids.

So, we had been planning and talking about TRYING (because it's different to try vs. not really worry about if you get pregnant or not) to conceive at the end of this year. I will admit that I haven't taken birth control in about a year, so we weren't exactly practicing "safe sex" like they teach in school. It's a crap shoot when you play the game that way. Curtis said we should name this baby Bullseye because we've learned how fertile it seems we are.

So, baby number two is on the way!!! I had the craziest pregnancy test drama this time around. On a Monday, I decided to buy a two pack of tests and came home and took one. The "pregnancy line" was incredibly faint, so I wasn't convinced. Curtis, of course, jumped on the computer and started researching. His conclusion "everything I've read says that if there's a line at all, even a faint one, it means you're pregnant." To which I replied, "yeah, I don't think so. I'll take another in the morning". It IS pretty much a myth that you should take a test in the morning. You're either pregnant or not. That statement kind of negates my unbelief about my own pregnancy.

So, test #2 at 5:45am was a dud. Like a completely NON working test. The control line didnt show up or anything. Of course, that was not something I could tolerate. So, I took a shower, got dressed and drove to the store at 6:15 in the morning to buy another 2 pack of tests. This time I just buy what's cheaper and ignore national brands, since that's what gave me a dud test anyway.
Of course, I get to the store, and have to go to the customer service desk and have someone paged to come over and get me a test from behind the counter - why are they locked up along side the condoms and cigarettes? And, I get in line where the older lady cashier decides to converse with me about my purchase while two men stand in line behind me waiting to buy their gatorades.

Nosey Cashier: "Is this for you?"
Me: "Who the hell do you think I'm buying a test for at 6am?" Ok, well that's what I THOUGHT to myself. My actual reply was to nod my head yes.
NC: "Oh, do you want to be?"
Me: (is she effing serious?!?) "Well, yes, I guess so. We already have a one year old at home."
NC: "Oh, well then yes." Like me already having a kid made it make sense that I would want another one.

I leave and I am thinking how RUDE people are. And, of course, being pregnant means that everyone has an opinion or question to ask. Mostly an opinion. I have already had someone be rude about my pregnancy test being on Facebook. Hey, it's MY FACEBOOK. That's what's so great about it. I may run something past Curtis now and then if I am concerned about its level of appropriateness. But, if he's unconcerned, then I'm good. He's pretty damn conservative, so if he OK's it, then you might as well figure it's safe for the whole family. But, I digress from the pregnancy test excitement...

So, I get home with my tests and of course, I don't have to pee. But Curtis insists that I try again before work. Let's just say those test results were inconclusive.

Forward to 9:30am at work. I sneak a test in my pocket (because carrying my purse to the bathroom reminds me of being a teenager on my period in high school. It's painfully obvious that I am needing to carry a tampon but too embarrassed to palm it to the loo) and again, have some freaking issue! This time, the control line didnt completely appear, and so again I felt that the test was inconclusive. At this point, I am wondering if I really am pregnant or not, and waiting for the tell tale signs of NOT being pregnant to show up. I decide to wait until Friday and take another test if there have been no further developments.

That evening, I go on some rampage in an argument with Curtis wherein I tell him that I am NOT cooking dinner for him since I am not really hungry and Gage can eat a hotdog and yogurt for dinner and be happy. He proceeds to get my car keys and get in my car, to which I respond by whisper screaming at him so the neighbors can't hear. Of course, I end up asking him where he's going and he says KFC and I remember they have a pretty good deal on a bucket of chicken and sides for $10. So, I volunteer that we all get in the car and ride together. (yes, that crazy mood swing should have been enough to convince me)

While we're waiting in the drive thru, Curtis says "Hey, do you want to get a pregnancy test while we're out" and I shrug and say sure. We've already spent $20 on 4 tests that proved nothing, so I decide to get the kind that says words. Like "pregnant" or "not pregnant" or "stop eating pizza".

Well, if you're here from my Facebook link, then I am sure you've already seen how that test turned out. :) And if it bothers you that I have something posted on my FB that I peed on, then PLEASE STOP READING MY BLOG! I assure you there's so much MORE offensive material that I will come up with over the next 9 months. You probably can't handle it.

This baby is due May 5, 2012. Yes, please feel free to cheer "Cinco De Mayo!" much like my husband and my best friend both did.

We are very excited, and I'm a little mind boggled that we will now have TWO children to warp... I meant MOLD into wonderful human beings. I'm thinking I will be a bit more laid back with this one. I won't be having any crazy baby shower. However, I may decide to have a get together over dinner with some girlfriends or something. If this baby is a girl, I will be happy to accept any directions you have that comes with raising a daughter. Unless, of course, I don't ask for your advice or opinion. Because Lord knows I will hear enough of those over the next 9 months!

Congratulations to Gage! We think he will be an incredibly helpful and wonderful big brother.

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