A Facebook email conversation I had this week with a precious woman whom I adore because she's a BAMF and she loves Jesus. We have TurboKick related nicknames for each other. So, you'll see them here.
COCO: jodes, your letters to gage are so precious.
i fully believe i can never have a child and just live through yours! mmmmmk GREAT :)
i love you SO much, my ninja jodester. hope all is well at the avary nest. .
ME: you are very sweet and hilarious. Having a kid is great. Maybe you'll feel more ready in another 5 yrs.
I love you too my sweet Coco!
COCO:maybe.... like 20 years :) .
ME:Have Gage for a day and see how you feel about it. :)
COCO: I'd love to! I'm just not sure i could do it. Like when I raise my voice or get really frustrated with (my dog) i freak out and cry. Or when I see people being not nice to their precious babies. And I guess I just haven't found the right person yet to make me want to raise a baby together. And I could never be as good as my mommy !!!
ME:Girl, if you think we don't lose our minds with our kids you're misinformed. I have lost my temper with him, and I have not always been proud at my lack of patience, but being a mom has made me a better person b/c you learn as they grow to be a better person. More loving. More patient. And being a mom is very selfless. I am not tooting my horn here. I mean, you give everything for this other person and it sucks sometimes when you want to do your own thing. But as I mature, I learn about sacrificial love. And Curtis was definitely the first man who I remember thinking, I want YOUR babies. Not just to have babies, but HIS babies. So, that might be part of it too. Your mom does rock, and my mom and I are just as close, so I understand that! She's what makes me want to be a good mom. And she's admitted she lost her patience with me before my memory remembers, and of course I don't remember her yelling at me til I was a teenager and was yelling at her first. Ha!
Not everyone wants to be a parent, and that's totally fine! Don't ever let anyone tell you that you have to be one to be happy or that you're selfish for not having one.
Bottom line: I fail my ass off everyday at being a mom, but that boy is what makes me world go round - after Curtis. :)
Thank you for the compliment of reading my humble blog.
COCO:awe thanks Jodes. you're so precious and SMART! maybe someday you'll even be wise ;) .
ME:Lol. More like a smart ass!
COCO:that, too!!! would you say your life is what you wanted/expected? .
ME:I would say my life is exactly what I didn't know I wanted. I wanted to get married and have babies, but God worked out all the details in a perfect way for me.